Spending a lot of the moments that I am not working on a ship. The Nephele's Whip, to be precise... the home of Hezekiah. I haven't seen Anjali as much recently ... either one or the other of us is busy, it seems. Still, our relationship remains close, and I cherish the times that I do get to spend with him.
Hezekiah seems to be doing better. I wish that I could take away his hurt. It pains me so much when I say or do the wrong thing and only cause him more distress. I freely admit to myself and to him that part of my reasoning for spending time with him and working to help him is because I need him to do the same with me. As wonderful as Anjali is, Hezekiah is something else.
I do need to be careful. As much as I remember the lessons on not becoming overly attached to somebody, they seem to be slipping away. It would be easier if he did let me into his bed as a lover... I won't push it, though. Even I know that would do much more harm than good.
What is it about him that attracts me so? Perhaps it is because I cannot have him. I don't know.
Perhaps I can work it out. In the meantime... I have plenty to do.